Eleven days...I've got eleven days to rewrite 80% of my manuscript....ah geez.

Okay since it looks like things are FINALLY all in order for the adoption on the 28th I'm not doing any running around and possibly may not even answer the phone today. I have a crap load of rewriting to do and I WILL FINISH ON TIME. *breathe, just breathe*

I know I'm really new at this mom business. Barely a year. And chances are that I'm not doing as badly as I think I am. Taking on 3 kids that all have issues stemming from their pasts is not an easy thing, for them or for me. Some days I wonder who it's really harder for. Typically the vote seems to fall almost selfishly on me every time. If I could go back to the mostly carefree life that I had as a child AND still get to be a grownup....I think I would. BUT how would that even been possible considering that being an adult seems to sweep some of that natural easiness away. Or at least it does for the responsible ones from my point of view.

Writing is creeping forward. I'm starting to stress that I'm not going to make my deadline. AND I most definitely need to start learning how to make my own deadlines if I want to be able to meet other people's deadlines.

Life always seems to get even more hectic when I set a solid goal for my writing. Suddenly all sorts of things pop up that MUST get done and I still must find time to work. Not always the easiest thing with 3 kids and another on the way. BUT there will always be an excuse, an emergency, a tantrum to deal with. I'm finding that squeezing 10-15 minutes in here and there, while now optimal working time, still keeps my motivation high and my progress continuing.

So I finished the rough a few weeks ago and have been working on the revision. So far, so good. Although I'll have to rewrite at least a third of the book at this point, it'll be a much stronger story in the end for it.

Kids are....well how any kids with special needs are. I'm surviving. Some days by my fingernails. The baby bump is getting bigger daily. My little squirt in there gets more and more active all the time. He's actually sleeping most of the night now which is good since I can sleep when my insides aren't getting pummeled. Demar got to feel the kicks and punches for the first time this week. It's all pretty surreal. I'm not sure, even though my waist has long since disappeared, that I'll really believe it until I'm holding little Aiden in my arms in 3 more months.

Okay, so I took quite some time off...almost a year. In my defense my life has completely reorganized itself. This time last year we had just had Carson placed with us through the Foster system. I was learning VERY quickly how to be a mom as well as dealing with multiple miscarriages in the six months that followed. Then just as things were settling in with Carson we had two more children placed with us, Connor and Baylee. I don't care what anyone says going from zero to three in less than a year has been an experience to say the least. Carson's adoption was final in June and Connor and Baylee's will be final the end of October. We have also discovered proof that yes, the Lord does in fact have a sense of humor. I am now pregnant. As of today I am 20 weeks and 3 days pregnant. MUCH farther than any of my miscarriages. We go to the doctor tomorrow to find out whether will be adding yet another boy to the family or if we'll have another little girl.

I've poked and prodded at my book this whole time though not consistently. Frankly, I think I'm worried that I will succeed. How strange is that? But I have finally decided that I really do want it and yes I'm not going to put off my dreams any longer. I'll be finishing my rough draft either some time tonight or tomorrow. Then polish it a bit before I submit it to Holly Lisle for her to look at. If she takes me as one of her 2 winners than I'll have the HUGE blessing of having her assist me in rewriting the whole thing into finished format to send off to publishers. While working on that, I'll start the second book in the series so that as soon as the rewrite class is over I'll be able to move right into rewriting the second. That hopefully will help with any book deal offers.

So chin up and hunker down. I'm not giving in this time. If there's one thing my kids have taught me in this year it's that stubbornness is not always a bad trait to have.

51,364 / 100,000 (51.4%)

I know, I know. Not the best but I am making sure to get a minimum of ten minutes even when I'm not feeling well. Dealing with a sunburn. On a good note, I got to wear all sorts of pretties today. :)